I'm privy to the emails that teachers send during the day to each other and I have to tell you, some of them are really quite funny. This one, especially tickled me:
Hey folks -
Just letting you know that in my deep and driving desire to give children a nervous complex before they are able to drive, my students are doing a "grand finale" research-paper-to-professional-public-presentation project which they'll be working on for several days. This may result in them rocking back and forth in class, plucking at their hair and skin, and mumbling about works cited vs. bibliography, etc.
More to the point, it may cause them to request coming to my room during tutorials and other times. They are always welcome to come and work on their projucts, provided of course, they have no requirements for you or other obligations to fulfill.
You can safely assume this will remain the case for the remainder of the 6th six weeks, or until psychological counselors are called in for approximately half of these students.
Yours in ever-increasing misery and torment for our lovely students,
Kinda renews your faith in teachers, doesn't it?