Friday, March 9, 2018

bang, bang .... my baby shot me down

The reference to Cher's song actually does not apply here.  My baby didn't shoot me down.  But the roofers did.  Down, dead.  And I was ready to shoot all of THEM at 6 AM this morning.

 So ... the roof is going up; the buckled wall has been repaired; and all is right with the world.

Oh wait.  We still haven't had the surgery.

Okay ... once we get the surgery taken care of, all will be right with the world.

Oh wait.  We still have to find a house to live in.

Okay ... once we decide on which house to buy, all will be ...

Oh wait.  Gotta sell our house first.

So ... the roof is going up; the buckled wall ...


Except Spring Break starts in approximately THREE hours.

Ahhhhh, all is right with the world.


Thursday, March 8, 2018

spoke. too. soon.

There will be no surgery today and poor Rick was counting the moments. 

Rick needs an Echocardiogram (EKG?) and a stress test.   Those two items alone we were told he'd already had so there was no need to worry.  Well, I should've worried.  I'm worried now ...

So:   new roof  -  check
         new wall  -  check
         new non-buckling floor  -  check
         new house  -  check
         new back surgery  -  FORGET IT.

I am not frustrated, I am not frustrated, I am not frustrated, I am not frustrated.

Those thirty-seven days till surgery?  The count is growing ... with no end in sight.

Forty-five, forty-six, forty-seven, one hundred eleven ...


Two thousand seventeen ....


Wednesday, March 7, 2018

some things are just so simple ...

Some things are so simple, they're funny.  And some things are so ridiculously simple that you just stand and marvel at them.

This, however, is not one of those things.

Surgery for Rick has been in the works since NOVEMBER.  That's November of last year.  He was scheduled for a spine stimulator trial in November that didn't actually happen until JANUARY 30TH.  Two days later and it would've been February.  Good grief.

So, after the trial, and after we were told he qualified, we were told that he would receive the "real" surgery, the "real" stimulator within two weeks ... four weeks at the VERY MOST.  Um, it's been THIRTY-SEVEN DAYS now and surgery is scheduled for tomorrow. 


We're only a "GO" if  Doctor A will sign off on the procedure, which she won't do until she receives a copy of the cardiac clearance that was faxed to the surgeon.  The cardiologist sent the clearance to the surgeon, skipping Doctor A.  In the meantime, the hospital needs the chest XRAY that Doctor A is in possession of ... but won't send until she has the cardiac clearance.

So ... our family room wall is being repaired right this moment; the floor-buckling people are at my house right now fixing the floor-buckles; our roof is being replaced on Friday and I have packers coming tonight to help me load up the POD that's sitting in my driveway.  It's easier to plan a house move ... than to schedule Rick's surgery.

He's smiling here.  He won't be, though, once I tell him the good news ...


This about sums up my life right now ...

This does, too ...


Sunday, March 4, 2018

Hooray for Hollywood ...

If you're going to be a KAHLE, you have to perform.

Here's the latest performing Kahle ... BUDDY.   Advertising for Melissa Bankard's Farmer's Insurance ... PET INSURANCE!   Go, Buddy!

Nice hat ...

Farmer's Insurance

Click on Buddy's little nose ... or click here.


Friday, March 2, 2018

hello? hello?

I just had the oddest phone call.  (Of course I did.  Do I get any other kind?)

"Hi, this is Kris ..."

"Hi, this is Lexy from Empire and I understand you have some buckling in your new ..."

... followed by screaming.
... shrieking.
followed by another blood-curdling scream.

I kid you not.

Then the phone went dead.

With all of the school shootings lately and all of the gun control issues in the news right now ... I feared the worst.  I was truly left worrying about Lexy.  That scream was not a giggle, therefore this was not a joke.

Five minutes later, my phone rang again.  

"I am so sorry," Lexy said.   

I told her that I had been sitting here worried sick about her ...

She simply said, "I saw a bug."

Okay ....  

Ya' know, I like Lexy.  A girl after my own heart.


Thursday, March 1, 2018

ABC ... as simple as 1,2,3

1. Leaking roof         check
2. Buckling wall       check
3. Blown transmission         check
4. House for sale at the worst possible time     check
5. $25,000 deductible for insurance claim       check
6. Trying to declutter a very cluttered home    check
7. Five foggy windows and one broken one    check
8. Brand new wood floor that's already buckling      check
9. New home being built WAAAY too fast               check

But none of this matters.  Nope, none.  Cuz' ...


This handsome young man is getting ready to go under the knife again and we are ecstatic!  Not many people would understand why we're so happy ... but he needs this surgery SO MUCH.

Ye Haw!    Almost pain-free, Rick!

SEVEN more days, Rick ...


Tuesday, February 27, 2018

okay, not funny, God.

So ... remember this check?

And remember how excited I was that our deductible for our house claim was $2500?  And how fortunate I felt to have received the money that would cover our repairs ... on the exact day that we needed repairs?

Um ...

Um ...

Today I learned that our deductible is actually $25,000.  Twenty-five THOUSAND dollars.  Not $2500.  Not hundred.  But thousand.

I'm not laughing.


Be right back ...  gotta go rob a bank.


Friday, February 23, 2018

me and noah

Because we are about to move into a new home ... we are just about ready to list my house for sale.  Well, we were anyway.

And because we were just about ready to list my house for sale ... the world began to flood.  My world  began to flood anyway.  Noah's got nothing on me.  My house has become a virtual ARK.

Except not exactly that cute.  Maybe more like this:


That's about all that's worth keeping in my house.

Wait.  Maybe more like this:

Yep.  For sure like this.  My house sprung a leak and the water poured in for a full day ... and then suddenly stopped.  The rain didn't stop, but the leak did.  Where all the water went is a good guess.  Okay, I know where it is ... it's in the wall.

I am sickened by my house every time I walk by that wall.  Or any wall.  Every wall is trying to get back at me for trying to sell the house.


But there is a bright side to all of it.

We were involved in a class action lawsuit for one of the meds that Rick takes.  Apparently we were WAY overcharged and somebody figured that out.  And, out of the blue, a check for over $2400 appeared in our mailbox.

I wanted to jet off to Hawaii STAT but God had other plans for us.  To get our damaged wall fixed, we will need to pay our deductible.  Guess what our deductible is?  Yep, $2500.

God is amazing.

He knew that we would need some money for all of this mess ... and here it came.

I have no words.

I have no house, either.  Mine is about to float down the river.  But I've got the peace of knowing that I don't have to come up with $2500 to pay my deductible.

Yay house!  Go house!

Seriously, GO house.  Just go away.


Thursday, February 22, 2018

ha. ha. and ha.

These bark.

These do NOT bark.

These bark.

And this barks, too.

          Not even this one ...

So, when you take your car into the shop for a "barking noise" and the dealer CONVINCES you it was just the hoverboard you had sitting in your back seat ... rest assured that hoverboards DO. NOT. BARK. 

You don't remember the story?     Check it out,  HERE.

Anyhoo ... my hoverboard does not bark, never did bark and it most likely never will.

My car, however, truly did.

And the dealer called me yesterday and said, "I have good news and bad news.  The good news is ... your car really did bark.   The bad news is ... your transmission is blown.  And you need a new one.  And it'll take a good week to order it and replace it.   The good news is ... you're getting a brand new transmission!"

The dealer must not know that I don't own this car.  It's only a lease.  And I couldn't care less if I have a new transmission or not.  I only wanted him to admit it wasn't the hoverboard.  And he did admit that.

So, the joke was on him

Wait.  The joke is on me.   I'm the one paying for a new transmission.

I think I'd rather have this:


Tuesday, February 20, 2018

valentine's day

I knew Rick had gotten me a gift for Valentine's Day because he has zero sense of secrecy.  The email came to MY email (I didn't open it, I promise) and then the box came and he left if sitting by the front door.  I didn't open that, either.  I really didn't want to.  Have you seen Rick's gifts?  Ahem.

But knowing that a gift was coming to me, I had to get him something, too.  I'd actually hoped that this year, with the purchase of a new house and with surgery constantly hanging over our heads, that we could skip the gifts.  I've seen Rick's gifts.  We could definitely skip them.

As February 14th neared, I guess I had in my head that we were going to skip the gifts ... and suddenly, on the 13th, I had no gift.  WHY HAD I FORGOTTEN THE GIFT????

But I actually did have one for him.  Something I bought for our new house, that I knew Rick would like, suddenly came to mind.  It was sitting in the backseat of my car just zooming around and around ... and just like that, it became a Valentine's Day gift!

Wanna see what it is/was?
This.       Except not this.

Nor this.  Nope, not that, either.  

The tank that I gave Rick was missing one important item.


And this ...

This one's awesome ... wish the tank had this in it.

Or this one ...

Or this one.

Nope, Rick's new tank only had these.

These are kinda pretty.  But Rick needed a more manly tank ... so he got a lot of these: 

Still none of these, though:

Maybe for Christmas.  First I have to gift him some water. 

That'll be his Easter gift.