Thursday, February 11, 2016

wait just a cotton -pickin' minute here ....

'Long Lost Family' Ordered to Series by TLC


harumph ...

By Tony Maglio -- February 2, 2016

Open a fresh box of Kleenex and flip over to TLC: The cable channel has ordered “Long Lost Family” to series.
The show features highly emotional and touching stories of people who have suffered a lifetime of separation and are yearning to be reunited with their birth parents and biological families. The reverse also applies on this reality show: Parents who wish to find children they had to place for adoption long ago.
Hosts Chris Jacobs and Lisa Joyner are both adoptees who have embarked on their own journeys to discover their biological families. Each episode follows the hosts as they investigate the stories of two individuals or families who have longed to resolve their lifelong searches.
The stakes are high, TLC promises: A successful investigation offers the promise of not just a heartwarming reunion but also a chance of redemption for people who have wrestled with emotional agony for years.
There is no simple path to find the missing loved ones. With tightly held family secrets in their way, the searchers have odds stacked against them. Jacobs and Joyner conduct painstaking searches through public records and utilize the latest DNA technology in their hunt for answers. But what they discover, and who they find, is anything but expected.
TLC’s descriptions of some participants are included below.
A mother who was forced to place her baby boy for adoption 31 years ago. Rita’s boyfriend dumped her when she told him she was pregnant and her mother sent her to a home for pregnant young women for fear of a scandal. Still holding on to his baby blanket from the hospital, she longs to meet her son again and keep the promise she made to find him.
JennyHer birth mother was the daughter of a minister who was deeply embarrassed by a pregnancy out of wedlock. Because of the lack of support offered, she ended up placing Jenny with social services. The search for Jenny’s birth mother takes a dramatic turn, when photo evidence suggests they may have been unknowingly connected for years.
Diana and JeannetteThey are two women in search for the father who suddenly vanished from their lives when they were just 4 and 5 years old. With no memories of their separation from him, the women have grown up haunted by his sudden disappearance. They hope he can be found so they can see him once again to find out the truth and ask him what happened., the largest provider of family history and personal DNA testing, is teaming up with TLC as a sponsor of the upcoming season. As part of the show sponsorship, Ancestry provides family history research on each of the featured individuals to help make discoveries possible.

As I said before, the BEST episode will air on April 17th at 10/9 Central.  You can be the judge.  These other people (above) don't know WHO they're competing with for best episode. 

Harumph.                              Double harumph.


Wednesday, February 10, 2016

we're in the tv guide!

Just noticed that our show, Long Lost Family, is now being advertised/promo'd/shown on real TV.  And not just on a promo reel on their website.

That means, we've got a GREEN LIGHT!  The show will DEFINITELY air!  Yes, there was always, always, always the chance that something could happen.  But in my eyes ... now that you've shown the promo on TV ... ON REAL TV ... it has to happen.  It just HAS TO!!!

Not that anyone consults me about anything.

But I did get a call from a friend last night ... telling me that our show OUR SHOW is being advertised!

F I N A L L Y.

And ya know what?

I'm not in the promo.


That better be the people in the first episode or I'm gonna be a bit ticked.  No, I won't really be, but it still better be just the first peeps.  It better be.


That means that I won't be shown in a promo UNTIL THE VERY END.

Dang.  It stinks being in the final episode.


Thursday, February 4, 2016

want a sneak peak?

Don't blink ...

Here's the whole video promo ~             LONG LOST FAMILY

Did you blink?

Here I am frozen in time.


And here's just MY portion of the promo reel.  Um, don't blink.


And here's when the show will actually begin airing ... although the best episode will air on April 17th.  At 10:00 PM.  But you already knew that.

You can blink during the actual show ...  I promise.

Here's the link again ....

Wednesday, February 3, 2016



April 17th


10:00 PM




Wow, that's past my bedtime ...

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

for sale

Remember that house that has the secret?  The deep dark secret?

Well, all is not lost ...

THIS HOUSE IS FOR SALE!    And it's a steal!!!!!

(This is the house directly behind that OTHER house.  This house was used as a hideout.  I mean hideaway.  Oops.  TMI)

Friday, January 22, 2016

So ??

I'm having trouble deciding if I won or lost my case.

I'll let you decide.

I paid $200 to evict my tenant. I had no idea this would turn into a court case. But it did. I had three weeks to prep for it. Then I drove to court and left the tenant's lease agreement at home. Because I'm Kris ... and this stuff always happens to me?

So, instead of the judge inviting my tenant to pack up and go ... he gave them one week to pay up and stay.

$200 to give them another free week to live in my rental property ???    I think I lost.

They've lived there for two month's rent free.

So, I won, because I may be getting some money. Yet, I lost because I've still got my tenants and I'm $200 poorer. And yet I won, because I know they can't pay the past due rent. And I lost, because I know they can't pay their past due rent.  I lost because I can't turn around and rerent my property thus proving that my tenants truly did live for two months free. And I lost because I'm now nearly $4000 down. But I won because ... wait, did I win?  Nope, I lost ... because the judge told me that I can evict in one week ... FOR AN ADDITIONAL $150!!  Yep. I lost.

I can't seem to remember if I won anything at all.

Then again, I watch Forensic Files. And I'm good at hiding bodies ...


Thursday, January 21, 2016

going, going gon....

Sitting in a courtroom this morning, doing something I've never done before ... evicting my tenant.  I thought this would be quick and easy. Instead I'm surrounded by hundreds of people all evicting their renters. It's a profitable day in court.  I hope.

Sitting a few feet away from me is MY tenant.

All I can think about is WHY DIDNT I WATCH MORE JUDGE JUDY?  No ... I was too busy watching Forensic Files.

Good thing I know where to hide bodies, though.  I just may need it today.

Ya never know ...

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

know what else i learned?

At the risk of divulging too much info too soon ... just know that I've been touring my father's house.

Your FATHER, Kris?   Yep.  You heard that right.  

Dear old dad owned a house.  And dear old dad lived there.  And dear old dad had some secrets, too.

Wanna see his cute little house?  Good.

Wanna go inside?  I did.

Little nookish area above.

Little libraryish room below.

Better view of ALL THOSE BOOKS.

I like this little sunroom.

Just imagine cooking a little meal in this cute little kitchen...

This might've been my bedroom.  I said MIGHT'VE.

Wanna see his next door neighbor's house? 

The neighbor probably had no idea ... that I might've lived next door.

Anyone interested in purchasing this little beauty?  It's going for a mere $970,000.  $970,985 to be exact.  A steal at twice the price.

Here's my house.

Just kidding.  Well, it IS my house ... but it has no secrets.

tee hee

If you want to see the inside of it ... you'll have to wait till MAY.
Yeah, I know.  I hate it, too.


Monday, January 11, 2016

a gaggle of geese

As March approaches ... and I get MORE AND MORE excited to view our episode of Hoarders, Galloping GourmetReal Housewives THAT SHOW ... know that I google/search/stalk/tear apart the internet every night trying to find out EXACTLY when our little show will air.  I know every keystroke of every website that even hints that they might know something.

And I keep turning up nothing.  And I get frustrated.

Today I actually broke down and contacted the folks that did the shooting/reporting/producing of our episode.  I know they know something and I know they will not tell me.  They're just like that.

BUT ... I did get a response finally.

Was it what I wanted?  Of course not.

It was this.  OUR SHOW WILL NOT AIR IN MARCH.  Heck, I could've told you that.  I've seen every promo for every other show on TLC.  I've scoured the TV Guide and the Guide on my TV.  Nothing.  But I can tell you when The Little Couple's two children will be returning to preschool.  I can also tell you all about my 600 lb. life (not MY life ... the show! the show!) and I can also say yes to the dress.  Even if I don't want to.  Tonight I'm going to watch an episode of The Bachelor, just to break up the monotony.

What I can tell you is this ... Our show will air in May now.  This came from the horse's producer's mouth.  Yes, it did.  It makes me sad, too.  And yet, I know it'll come.  So I'm okay.

EVEN IF I WANT IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Thursday, January 7, 2016

what the doctor learned in 2015 ...

Soooo, apparently the foot isn't broken after all.  There's just a tear-thingy/twisted-thingy in some muscle-thingy in my foot-thingy.

And I was told to not wear flats ... instead to wear a heeled shoe.  Um, seriously??  So I did.

My foot-thingy hurts today.  A heeled shoe was a double-edged sword.  Felt good while wearing it, killed me when it was off.

Maybe I shouldn't have worn a stiletto.