Friday, February 23, 2018

me and noah

Because we are about to move into a new home ... we are just about ready to list my house for sale.  Well, we were anyway.

And because we were just about ready to list my house for sale ... the world began to flood.  My world  began to flood anyway.  Noah's got nothing on me.  My house has become a virtual ARK.

Except not exactly that cute.  Maybe more like this:


That's about all that's worth keeping in my house.

Wait.  Maybe more like this:

Yep.  For sure like this.  My house sprung a leak and the water poured in for a full day ... and then suddenly stopped.  The rain didn't stop, but the leak did.  Where all the water went is a good guess.  Okay, I know where it is ... it's in the wall.

I am sickened by my house every time I walk by that wall.  Or any wall.  Every wall is trying to get back at me for trying to sell the house.


But there is a bright side to all of it.

We were involved in a class action lawsuit for one of the meds that Rick takes.  Apparently we were WAY overcharged and somebody figured that out.  And, out of the blue, a check for over $2400 appeared in our mailbox.

I wanted to jet off to Hawaii STAT but God had other plans for us.  To get our damaged wall fixed, we will need to pay our deductible.  Guess what our deductible is?  Yep, $2500.

God is amazing.

He knew that we would need some money for all of this mess ... and here it came.

I have no words.

I have no house, either.  Mine is about to float down the river.  But I've got the peace of knowing that I don't have to come up with $2500 to pay my deductible.

Yay house!  Go house!

Seriously, GO house.  Just go away.


Thursday, February 22, 2018

ha. ha. and ha.

These bark.

These do NOT bark.

These bark.

And this barks, too.

          Not even this one ...

So, when you take your car into the shop for a "barking noise" and the dealer CONVINCES you it was just the hoverboard you had sitting in your back seat ... rest assured that hoverboards DO. NOT. BARK. 

You don't remember the story?     Check it out,  HERE.

Anyhoo ... my hoverboard does not bark, never did bark and it most likely never will.

My car, however, truly did.

And the dealer called me yesterday and said, "I have good news and bad news.  The good news is ... your car really did bark.   The bad news is ... your transmission is blown.  And you need a new one.  And it'll take a good week to order it and replace it.   The good news is ... you're getting a brand new transmission!"

The dealer must not know that I don't own this car.  It's only a lease.  And I couldn't care less if I have a new transmission or not.  I only wanted him to admit it wasn't the hoverboard.  And he did admit that.

So, the joke was on him

Wait.  The joke is on me.   I'm the one paying for a new transmission.

I think I'd rather have this:


Tuesday, February 20, 2018

valentine's day

I knew Rick had gotten me a gift for Valentine's Day because he has zero sense of secrecy.  The email came to MY email (I didn't open it, I promise) and then the box came and he left if sitting by the front door.  I didn't open that, either.  I really didn't want to.  Have you seen Rick's gifts?  Ahem.

But knowing that a gift was coming to me, I had to get him something, too.  I'd actually hoped that this year, with the purchase of a new house and with surgery constantly hanging over our heads, that we could skip the gifts.  I've seen Rick's gifts.  We could definitely skip them.

As February 14th neared, I guess I had in my head that we were going to skip the gifts ... and suddenly, on the 13th, I had no gift.  WHY HAD I FORGOTTEN THE GIFT????

But I actually did have one for him.  Something I bought for our new house, that I knew Rick would like, suddenly came to mind.  It was sitting in the backseat of my car just zooming around and around ... and just like that, it became a Valentine's Day gift!

Wanna see what it is/was?
This.       Except not this.

Nor this.  Nope, not that, either.  

The tank that I gave Rick was missing one important item.


And this ...

This one's awesome ... wish the tank had this in it.

Or this one ...

Or this one.

Nope, Rick's new tank only had these.

These are kinda pretty.  But Rick needed a more manly tank ... so he got a lot of these: 

Still none of these, though:

Maybe for Christmas.  First I have to gift him some water. 

That'll be his Easter gift.


Saturday, February 17, 2018

so ... why was Rick ticked off?

Because we were having to have new flooring put down in his office (we had some water damage last year) I had to pack up EVERYTHING in Rick's office, STAT!.    E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.   The floor removal/putter-downer guys said that they would move the furniture, but there could be no trinkets out on shelves or in drawers.  And wow ... did he have stuff out of shelves and wow ... did he have stuff stuffed in drawers.  And WOW ... did he have stuff ALL OVER THE FLOOR.  That man is an absolute ... well, never mind.  And I won't even tell you about all of the dust ...

So, I packed.  And I packed.  And packed.  FOUR HOURS LATER, everything was packed. 

And you know what Rick said (after the new floor was laid and he could go back into his office)?

"Why did you pack up my remotes?"
"Why did you pack up all of the batteries?"
"You know, I needed those papers you packed."
"Where on earth did you put my pens?"

My favorite .... "How come you packed up all of my Gilligan's Island DVDs??

Sorry, Rick ... even Gilligan had to go.  The floor could not wait for the Skipper and his Little Buddy.

Rick swore at me (in his head) and told me where to go (still only in his head.)  He smiled on the outside but I could read his mind.

Rick no longer wanted to move if Gilligan couldn't come with us. 


Thursday, February 15, 2018

packing ... packing .... and packing

Before I share with you all of the mean and cruel things Rick has said to me since I packed up his office ... let me tell you all of the mean and cruel things that car dealer said to me when I took my little black car in for a check up.

Said car was making a noise not unlike a dog barking.  A FREAKIN'  LITERAL DOG barking.  I would step on the gas and hear WOOF!  I would come to a stop and hear woof!  Step on the gas, WOOF!  Come to a stop, woof!  It would drive you batty!!!!  It was driving me batty, not to mention the dog.  I think he was darn tired of woofing everytime I stopped and started.

So, off to the dealer we went (the car is still under warranty.)  The dealer, either because he didn't trust me or because that's the new norm, jumped in my car and asked me to duplicate the noise.  I was terribly afraid the noise wouldn't happen because that's the kind of luck I have ... but alas, my doggy started barking his head off.  Woof, Woof, Bark, Bark!

The dealer was amused.  He'd never heard that before.

And because he was so amused, he turned around and peeked into my backseat. 

"What's in the box?" he asked.

"Oh, just my daughter's Christmas gift that she couldn't fit in her suitcase when she left to go back home to Hawaii.

"May I see?"

I was beginning to feel challenged.  But my dog was still barking, so I knew I was going to win this case.  I got out of the front seat of my car and headed to the backseat.

"See, just this."  And I showed him the hoverboard that Santa had carried down the chimney for my dear, darling daughter.

Mr. Car Dealer took the hoverboard, held it on his lap and we drove off again.  No dog barked.  No noise was heard.  No feeling of accomplishment nor pride was gleaming on my face.  Only embarrassment.

"You mean I just brought my car to the shop because my hoverboard was making a noise?"

"Seems so," he said.

I'll never return to that dealer again.  I can't.  I just can't.  I know I was the lunch topic that day at the Nissan dealer.


Now where did my doggy go?  He was here just a minute ago ...


Thursday, February 8, 2018

so ....

... my dear, darling daughter wants to get married.
... my dear, darling husband had his "trial spine stimulator" removed.
... my dear, darling car is wreaking havoc on my life.
... my dear, darling daughter's cat adores me
... my dear, darling new house is being built faster than the speed of light ... and this is not good.  Not good because my dear, darling old house ain't near ready for being put on the market.

Oy vey.

I took Rick back to the hospital yesterday to have the trial "machine" ripped off of his back and the whole experience evaluated.  He passed with flying colors even though he had no idea what he was saying most of the time.  The man is completely sleep-deprived and I could see his brain exaggerating about how well the machine worked.  First it was 400%, then 75%, then 90%.  We let the 90% be the marker and yes, he was then approved for the next surgery that'll happen in three weeks.  Oh joy.  Another week, like we just had for him to recover from surgery ...  Whee.

Then my car decided to die and, of course, it was just fine when I got it over to the dealer.  Of course it was.  I hate my car.  It lies.  Maybe it exaggerates, too.  Maybe it just didn't want it's "machine" ripped out of its back.

And finally, there's a wedding pending.  And since I've never met the "boy", I'm about to rip the spine stimulator out of my dear, darling daughter's brain.  Uh huh.  No cash is coming out of my pocket till I at least meet my future son-in-law. 

Do you suppose a broken down Nissan Rogue would be a good wedding gift?

How about a cat?


Saturday, February 3, 2018


Rick is in so much pain today that we knew we had to call the doctor for advice.

"Is there any oozing or leaking at the surgery site?" he asked.

Um, well, um ...   I actually didn't know I was supposed to be changing his dressing.  I actually didn't even think of it.   So, naturally, I HAVE NO IDEA! 

Well, how was I supposed to know that I had to do such awful work!  I don't want to see that, ESPECIALLY if it's leaking and oozing.

And, um, can't Rick do that?  Never mind that he can't see back there.  Or reach back there.

So, um, I told the doctor no, it was not leaking or oozing.  Well, if I can't see it, it ain't happening.

Shut up.

Maybe the cat can do it.  She's pretty flexible.


Thursday, February 1, 2018

two days and counting ...

Rick is supposed to feel great on the third day following his surgery.  Things are not headed in that direction.  I think they're headed to Tennessee instead.

His incision site is more painful than the pain that he had going into this procedure.  Okay, we knew that might happen.  

He was told that he needed to give it two or three days to get past the surgery soreness.  Okay, we are approaching that.  The "two days" is here and "three days" is soon coming.

The remote control he has to control the pain was charged up, we were told, and ready to use.  Okay, not charged.

Yet, because he would feel so great, he wouldn't even need to adjust the pain controller remote thingy.  Okay, not feeling great ... how do you charge up the thingy?

So, instead of Rick walking around yelping in pain previously ... he's now sitting around yelping in pain constantly.

Um, something has gone terribly awry.  Yep.

Unless he wakes up with a song on his lips tomorrow morning ... I will deem this trial surgery a "misfire".

I, however, am going under the knife for a lobotomy.  Since Rick had his surgery, the dog has been sleeping with me ... and I must be out of my mind for allowing this. 

Wait, let's just give the dog a lobotomy. 

Couldn't hurt.


Oy vey.


Monday, January 29, 2018

just because ...

Welcome to Medical City Frisco

Because we haven't ever gotten to check out this particular hospital in Frisco, we decided that Rick should have some surgery done here.  Uh huh.  That's the only reason.  And isn't it nice how they welcomed us?  We're not even there yet and we get a "welcome to" message.  I wonder what we'll get when we actually arrive?

They claim that Healthcare is better in the City.

Good thing we don't live in the country.

But seriously (or not) we've never gotten to visit THIS hospital before.  Heck, I didn't even know this hospital existed and here it is just minutes from my house.  I hope they have a good gift shop.  And a good cafeteria.  That's my only criteria, you know, shopping and eating.  And more shopping, and occasionally checking in on Rick.

So, after all is said and done (and believe me, I've said plenty), we FINALLY have a surgery date for Rick.  He's been waiting for over two months for this particular trial surgery and we have high hopes for its success.

I'm expecting great things after this.

Like a trip to Hawaii, a trip to Europe, a new car, a new house, jewels, money and ...

well, I am getting a new house ...

Thanks Rick.  Your pain guarantees me lots of fun things!  I hope you get something out of it, too.


Tuesday Morning at 9:15 AM Texas time, Rick will be under the knife.  Please lift him in prayer for a successful and uneventful surgery!

The guy there on the left has been through so much.


Monday, January 22, 2018

I've said it before ...

... and I'll say it again.  "If you're going to be in the Kahle family, you have to be willing to perform."

Meet Buddy.  Buddy became a Kahle on December 9th of 2016.  He was Rick's birthday present ... as we had just lost our dear Midnight.

Buddy had no idea what he was signing up for.  None.

Not only has he endured costume after costume, he now has to endure my love of the theater.  And film.  And television.  Yep, Buddy has just entered the world of television.  How and why, you ask?  Welp, I auditioned him, I took him to a "set" and I enticed  begged  forced him to perform.  Silly dog.  He did it, too.

Buddy is a "spokes dog" for Farmer's Insurance.  Apparently they offer pet insurance now ... and Buddy is there to help entice everyone to buy it.  I'm not gonna ... but you should.  'Cuz you're rich.  Everybody's rich.  I'm not, though.

Here's the cast:

We're partial to the little guy in Greg Brady's spot up top.  Although, honestly, they're all cute.

They were welcomed like the stars they were ...

Here's Buddy acceptance letter:

First stop ....  the potty room.  

Placed down on doggy level, as if they could read it.  Buddy can't read yet, though.  I know this because he christened the wall of the studio the moment he got there.


Next stop ... Craft Services.  Dog treats for everyone!

And ... the star!


... sporting each of these fine costumes.  Never mind that they are from his Halloween trunk.

This beautiful gal was the hostess.  I hope to look like her one day.

Meet Melissa Bankard.

She hired Buddy.

Buddy has a crush on her.  I know this, because he didn't want to leave.

And there you have it.

All Kahles have been "in the movies" now.  Except for Jeannie.

We don't let her perform ... since she's only interested in adult films.