Wednesday, June 7, 2017

first things first

So, what exactly did you do, Kris, as a single girl?  You know, that thing you said that you were going to do first?  That first thing you did as an unattached gal, while the family was out of town?

I'm glad you asked.

The answer is ...

Not much.  I just bought a house.   Just a little something to surprise my husband with when he came home from California ...

Here it is:

I'm in love with it.  It's a one story home that's brand new.  I've never had a brand new home.  And I've looked at plenty of homes lately ... but none compared to brand new construction.  And even though I said "one story" it's got a secret second story that's found only when you walk all the way to the back of the house, in the back corner.  And up there?  A full bedroom, full bath and a TV/game/media/MY ROOM.   That little second floor?  ALL MINE.

Here's the kitchen.  Cuz I know you want to see where I'll be cooking all of my gourmet meals.

Too bad I don't cook.

Too bad Rick doesn't know I bought this house.

Too bad I don't care.


Tuesday, June 6, 2017

condo trouble

Remember this lady?  Remember her?  She called me this weekend and apologized for bothering me and for offending me (she said my furniture was ugly in the condo) and then asked if I could do her a favor?


Her husband lost his hearing aids and was wondering if we'd found them in our condo.  Never mind that their visit was A MONTH AGO.  Have ya' not missed them for a month?

But I was polite and told her I'd look for them today while the house was being cleaned.  Well, IIII won't look for them ... but the housekeeper will.  Well, we don't have a housekeeper, but I do have a sister and she can look.

In the meantime, I've just booked another guest into my condo.  They plan to stay for six weeks.  They're an old haggard couple who have a daughter who's about to whisk away to Hawaii for a cruise ship career.  They also have a dog.  And a cat.  And a wheelchair.

I sure hope they don't cause me any grief.  I sure hope they're clean.  I sure hope the man likes the condo.  He's never seen it, you know.  And six weeks can be a long, long time for two people, a dog, a cat and a wheelchair to be all cooped up together.

Yeah, no.  I don't think I'll rent to them.

I wonder if Shirley would want to come back ...


Monday, June 5, 2017

School's Out For .... summer

School ended on Friday.  My day job will continue for one more week, though.  My second job started up again on Saturday.  I took about a month off from my second job, trying to heal my injured arm and elbow.  I needed another month off, though.  As a security guard, I have to "wand" folks and make sure they're not carrying any knives or other weapons ... or Fritos.  Yep, food is never allowed.  Knives slip by us sometimes ... but never a Frito shall enter the venue.

Anyway, now that I'm back working that second job in full force (oh yes, full force) I'm remembering the real reason I took a month off.

This weekend I worked a soccer game ... and a high school graduation.  The soccer game?  A breeze.  Well, not literally ... it was HOT out there.  But that graduation!  Oh that graduation.

The regular local schools had all finished their ceremonies so yesterday was what I believed to be a magnet school.  You know, the smarty pants schools.  Unfortunately, CHARTER schools and MAGNET schools are not the same thing.  I sorta got those all mixed up.  And those smarty pants kids?  Not so much.  The graduation that I worked was a charter school graduation.  Six of them, actually.

Definition of charter school?  CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTION.  Yep, I work a graduation for a bunch of jail heads.  Not parrotheads; that's next week when I work the Jimmy Buffett concert; and that's another type of jail, I'm sure.  These kids?  Jailheads.  

You know what?  The kids were fine.  But oh, those parents.  And those teachers!  I was yelled at, barked at and had water bottles thrown at me.  Those parents were not happy ... and yet, you think they would be ... finally getting their little darlings graduated out of high school.

"Charter schools serve significantly higher percentages of minority or low-income students than the traditional public schools. Charter schools accept students by random, public lottery."

Yeah, who knew?  I certainly didn't.  I do now, though.  

Wanna know something sad?  The number of young girls who crossed the stage, in their caps and gowns, carrying their small children.  The first young girl carrying a baby across shocked me.  The next one didn't.  The one who came with three children, though, did.  What a hard life she has created for herself.

Now, on to Parrothead dome.  Can't wait to see what all the excitement is about there.  If my shoulder and elbow hold up ... maybe I can learn a few things about Jimmy Buffet on Saturday.  
Maybe he went to a charter school, too.     Or maybe he should have.


Friday, June 2, 2017

Thing 2 and Thing 3

Kahle 1 is home from Maryland ... and Kahle 2 is now home from California.  Kahle 2 travelled to California at the same time that Kahle 1 travelled to Maryland ... except Kahle 2 went for very different reasons.  Sadly Kahle 2 went to say a final goodbye to his mother.  She passed while he was there.

Know what Kahle 3 did while #1 and #2 were out of town?

ANYTHING SHE WANTED!  Yep, she was a single girl again!  WHEE!!!

Fast forward to today ... Kahle 1 and Kahle 2 are heading out again.  Both are going to California this time for the funeral of Rick's mom.  Yes, my mother in law, and yes, I'm not going.  I've got to work and it's graduation weekend ... so missing any time at all on this weekend is not an option.  So, I'm staying behind being ...


Calm down, Kris.  Thing 1 and Thing 2 don't need to know how ecstatic you are about all of this ...

But I am!

And you'll never believe what the first thing was that I did as a single girl ....


Friday, May 26, 2017

single girl ...

Here's what Kahle 1 has been doing while I've been single:

Meet my dear, darling firefighter.  Not your traditional firefighter, I admit, but still cute.
She appears to be missing an important part of the uniform, though.

Notice the water behind her?  I'm assuming that's where she'll get her water supply from ... if there's a real fire in camp.  Hey, it's convenient ...

Fire gear?  I guess.  Kind of looks like machine guns, if you ask me.   Hey, what kind of camp is this?

People waiting their turn to fight some fires?  Grab a gun, guys!

Liz and her friends went sent inside this makeshift house/hotel/building/store? to put out a fire and rescue a stray person who couldn't get out/find their money/pay their hotel bill/eat dinner? today.  Next time I'm shopping and can't get out ... I can notify Liz.  She can rescue me.

Super Girl Liz.  She killed a dummy.

Next up:  righting a raft.  Never should've wrong it in the first place, I'm thinking.

Flip it!  Flip it good, Liz!

Wanna see what a mock/makeshift cruise ship looks like?  
A lot like a makeshift/mock  hotel/store, if you ask me ...

I wonder if this thing can sail...

Here's another view:  I doubt this one can sail, either.

I see no portholes ... must all be inside cabins.

Here's our little fire-fightin' gal now.  

She passed her tests on water, under water and in the store.  

Fingers crossed that she can resuscitate Annie tomorrow.  Annie is a traditional dummy used in CPR classes.  Let's see if Liz is a traditional dummy as well.

Just kiddin' Liz!


Wednesday, May 24, 2017

I dunno if ...

... the dog is sad that his daddy is out of town or sad that his sissy is out of town, or just sick to his stomach from the pork tamale I fed him ... but I've about had it with doggy diarrhea.

The dog is leaving me lovely presents all over the house.


I got the bright idea to take my doggy to PetSmart with me to buy some carpet cleaner ... and he christened their store, too.  Right there by the cash registers, right where the manager and everyone could see.  No hiding that.

I spent twenty minutes ON MY KNEES in PetSmart, cleaning up dog poop.  They're brutal, those folks at PetSmart.

Jokes on them, though.  My dog christened a few of their other displays, too.  Nobody noticed but me ... and all of the security cameras.

I'm done being single, thank you very much.


Tuesday, May 23, 2017

wanna know something funny?

One of the Kahles ... well the one that flew to California ... lost his luggage.  He lost HIS OWN luggage.  Yep, he left it on the ground, outside the car, while he was getting in the car.  Left it, sitting right there on the sidewalk.

Not a big deal?  Wrong.

It had ALL of his meds for the week.

Could we get him some new meds?  Sure.  But that would've been easy.  The outcome of his little escapade was much more interesting.  And funny.    ??

An unattended bag ... at the airport ... is no laughing matter.  The surrounding area was closed and evacuated and the bomb squad was called in.  Seriously.  And to retrieve this bag ... I had to jump through so many hoops.  I feared that I was going to have to fly out there and beg, on my knees, to have my husband released from jail.

That didn't happen, fortunately.

Instead I had another single girl meal.  This time it was Tortino's pizza.  $1.50.   Yep, I was a big spender back then.


Monday, May 22, 2017

whoosh ... whoosh .... whoo

One Kahle went one way ....
         One Kahle went the other way ...

              One Kahle stayed home.

One Kahle took a 5:00 AM flight on Sunday morning to Piney Point, Maryland.
One Kahle took a 7:00 AM flight on Sunday morning to Glendora, California.
One Kahle had to wake up to take them both to the airport.

One Kahle (okay, maybe all of them) is extremely tired today.  Even after a 2 hour nap after the airport journey.

B U T **** the Kahle that stayed home is enjoying the 'single girl life' once again!  She thrives on that.

I am gonna DO what I want, EAT what I want, SLEEP when I want and GO where I want.

So far, I've cleaned the living room and done three loads of laundry.

And eaten a bag of tortilla chips.

Yea, me!


Wednesday, May 17, 2017

takin' a break

Because our world just got crazy, I thought I'd show you something else going on in my life ... that makes preparing for a cruise ship job/water training/going away luau look like a piece of cake.

My rental property in Idaho keeps blowing up my phone.

Image result for phone on fire

No, literally.

Meet Shirley.  Shirley is not happy.  She doesn't like the furniture in the condo and called once or twice to let me know.  She also doesn't like the lack of patio furniture nor the lack of a view nor the blah, blah, blah.

Meet Sadie.  Sadie makes Shirley seem like a happy camper.

Sadie might not blow my text messages up as much as Shirley ... 
instead she likes to call me AT ALL HOURS OF THE DAY AND NIGHT.

Sadie can't get the TV to work.
Sadie doesn't understand Internet TV.
Sadie only understands ABC, CBS and NBC.

And the news.  Live news.

Sadie said:

Glad she's not a complainer.  Glad she knows I don't want to do whatever it is I do to get TV to the condo.  Glad Josiah has been so kind.

Who's Josiah?

FYI - Sadie has free internet and free Netflix and free Hulu, etc.  Even free CBS and News.

I wonder if Josiah could've mustered that!


I hate them both.

And I've decided to jump on Elizabeth's cruise ship and sail away with her.

Oh wait, water safety training is first ... I can't go to that.  'Cuz I'd drown Sadie.  And Shirley.

And Josiah.  Whoever he is.


Monday, May 15, 2017

annnnd ... she's off!

Just got word ... just got THEE word ... that all systems are go and my dear, darling daughter will be leaving for her training soon.

SOON.  Like in five days.  Like SURPRISE!   Like we didn't know ... but suddenly it's here and suddenly I'm a wreck.

Oh, I'm fine with her leaving ... but I HAVE A PARTY TO THROW!

Thanks for the notice, Elizabeth.

So, luau decor - CHECK
      Hawaiian Punch - CHECK
      leis for guests - CHECK
      luau dishes - CHECK
      front door wreath - CHECK
      fishnet decor for tables and walls - CHECK
      Hawaiian shirt .... coming.

So, did I forget anything?

F *  O  *  O  *  D  !!!!    Oh good grief.

Anyone know where I can get one of these real quick?

Image result for luau pig