Thursday, February 23, 2017

early in the day ...

… our school placed all of the kiddos and teachers and staffers into “lock down” for a drill ... in case of an actual intruder entering our building.  Normally these drills take about five minutes and are just inconvenient to me.  Today’s was different.  Usually we get warning that we’ll be having this drill but we didn’t have any warning this time.  But I figured out right away that it was a drill, since we had had an email come out yesterday, going over all of the procedures. 

So, overhead, we heard that we were now in lockdown; that there was an intruder in the building. 

I turned off my lights, locked my door, hunkered down … and tried to keep working in the dark.  I heard the teachers outside in the hallways instructing their children what to do.   And then it grew eerily quiet.

Five, ten minutes passed.  Fifteen passed.  THIRTY MINUTES passed … and I was still hunkered down and in the dark but trying to work.  Cuz I’m responsible like that.  Oh, shut up.

At the 31 minute mark, I began to panic.  THIS THING IS REAL, I told myself.  And I texted a coworker.  No response.  Oh great.  The intruder got her, I was guessing.

35 minutes into it, I called our front desk and asked.  And, of course, they LAUGHED THEIR HEADS OFF AT ME!  It wasn’t long before EVERYONE stopped by just to laugh at me and ask if I was still in timeout or if I could now come out and play.    One smarty pants wanted to know if I’d caught him and what I was feeding him to keep him happy.  

I'd forgotten my lunch ... so it's a good thing I really DIDN'T have an intruder with me ... he'd have gotten mighty hungry.  Then again, I did have some bread and water I could've given him.  He's probably used to that anyway.


Come to think of it, bread and water sound pretty good ... you know, since I forgot my lunch.


Tuesday, February 21, 2017

healthy eating 101

I ate vegetables today.  I do not like vegetables.
I also ate an egg and some ham and some salad dressing.  But don't tell Liz.  I figure what she doesn't know ... won't hurt ME.

Ugh.  Vegetables.  Ever tried them?  They're GREEN!

Seriously, though, what I really had was a salad ... without the lettuce.  That was pretty decent.  Later I baked a potato.  And once it cools ... I'm loadin' that baby with chocolate.

That's good, right?

That WHOLE box there is loaded with sinful chocolate.

Come to mama!



Friday, February 17, 2017

She. Is. Home.

And the healthy eating regime has already begun.


Elizabeth was so grateful to be home last night that she cooked us dinner.  We were served a bowl of yellow things with some brown things on top and some green thingies on top of the brown things.  It was anything but delicious.

To top is all off, there was white stuff fluffing around the rim of the bowl.

The brown things resembled potatoes, the yellow and green thingies were trying to be vegetables ... and that white stuff was Greek yoghurt ... pretending to be sour cream.

So, basically, we had potatoes for dinner.

I had chocolate afterwards.  Followed by more chocolate.

You can't give me the dinner of a rabbit and expect me not to find some chocolate.

So, Elizabeth is home and she ruling the roost again.  No telling what tonight's dinner will consist of.  I bought her some quinoa.

That actually looks kinda good ...

... if you're a nut.


Monday, February 13, 2017

this is my daughter ...

That one on the right.  Not the left.  The gal on the left still has her wits about her.  The girlie on the right is about done in.

Four weeks of a job that crinkled her brain has her going from:





Okay, this one's not so bad.  It's also not accurate.

More like:

Yep, that's my girl now.  After just four short long weeks.

She's gone from this:

to this:

Poor kid.

Right now it's best not to walk ahead of her in a dark alley.

She'll knock the snot right out of ya'.

 In short, this is Elizabeth.

Welcome home Elizabeth.  We've missed you.

We KNOW you've missed us.


Saturday, February 11, 2017

i'm gonna be broke ...

... buying up all of these hot, hot properties!  Just kiddin'.  This one's only mildly hot.  Warm, even.  LUKEwarm.  Okay, cold.

But it appears to be hot in the real estate market.  It's gone from $40,000 to $140,000 in worth.  And where was I when it was being sold??  Hey, I want in on a deal like that?

So, here it is...

Built in 1951.  Much newer that the one in Oklahoma City.  That one was built, what, around the turn of the century?  The value has increased, though!  Oh wait, 1984.  No wonder the value has increased.  Duh.

So, Kris ... what's the significance here?

This is the very first house that Lancey took Janette to after he kidnapped her.  They stayed here for nearly a year.  You couldn't get me to live in that house for a year.  No porch.  

No pool, either.  Nope, I'm not staying there.  

Nice long driveway, too.  Lancey's got a thing for long driveways.  Oops, no backyard this time.  I can tell.  I can see right through to the street right behind them.

If anyone sees Lancey, please tell him to purchase some nicer homes, please.  Oh wait, these were rentals.  Okay, tell him to rent some prettier homes, please.

With pools.


Thursday, February 9, 2017


Zestimate for 1743 NW 37th St has increased. 

It's increased, for Pete's sake.  I've got to buy this house before the market crashes!  
Or, at least before anyone else does.  Not that anyone else would.

1743 NW 37th St, Oklahoma City, OK


Okay, never mind.  I'll buy this one instead.
It's got those cool blue-green windows.  I'll feel like I'm at a pool or something.
Or something...

Home photo

 FOR SALE 0 days ago
2 bd, 1.0 ba, 1,274 sqft, 0.37 mi. away 
1904 NW 31st St, Oklahoma City, OK

After all, it WAS near the scene of the crime.  It must know something.  

And here's why the rush ...

SOLD 6 days ago

Home photo

Six days??  These HOT homes are selling in


Wait.  Why??

Is there a run on 'kidnapper specials' lately?



Tuesday, February 7, 2017

real estate

If this house ever goes up for sale, I want first bid.  I would love to own a piece of my own history.

But first, I need to fix up that porch.  And the lawn ... we need a new lawn.  And oh, those weeds.

Never mind, I'll fix up my own house instead.  I hear we've had a few floods lately.


Zillow estimate of this house:  $75,945.00

I'm gonna have to argue on that, though.  This sentence is in the description of the house:

This home last sold for $20,900 in September 2008.

There's no way this little house increased in value by over $50,000 in just 9 short years.  That's triple the price!

This is a single family home that contains 836 sq ft and was built in 1927. It contains 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom.  

The Zestimate for this house is $75,945, which has increased by $2,303 in the last 30 days. The Rent Zestimate for this home is $795/mo.

Hey, wait ... This house is a gold mine!  Anyone else want in on it, too??  And I'm sure there're some bodies buried in the basement.  What?  No basement?  Okay, the backyard, then.  There IS a backyard.  I see it.

Well, I don't actually see the backyard.  I'm just imagining there is one.  In case I resell the place to a lovely young couple with a child and a dog.  And more bodies to bury.


Sunday, February 5, 2017

just for a moment ...

I bought my condo from a wonderful real estate lady, up in Idaho.  She was delightful.  Unfortunately she was struck down last night with a stroke.  I found this little gal (only 5 years old!) singing the National Anthem on Karen's Facebook page and I wanted to share it.  Just a moment of an amazing little girl, singing an amazing song ... that an amazing woman liked as well.

 National Anthem

Click on the photo to hear this amazing little 5 year old!

Get well soon, Karen!


In case that link doesn't work, this one will:

Friday, February 3, 2017

in case you were wondering ...

 ... and I understand if you weren't, but this is the house where Janette (my new mom) was held captive in for nigh on one year.  It was rented to her captor (with bogus money, I'm sure) and in the captor's eyes, they lived as husband and wife.  Her little son lived there, too.

The captor (Lancey) only left her side once.  And the moment he drove his beautiful aqua blue '57 Belaire Chevrolet down that driveway and off the property, she took off with her son in tow and their little suitcase and all the pocket money she could find on Lancey's dresser top.

Here's a photo of the driveway that she watched him drive down.

You think she was scared?  I'll bet I've never known fear like that.  Ever.  Oh wait, I was a part of her at that time.  Still.

And below is the home that she ran to, begging the gentleman inside to drive her to the bus station.  Which he did.

And, the rest is history.

Until, that is, little Krissy gets a hold of the story and researches it to death.  Yep, there's more.

But you'll have to wait for the book to come out.  And no, I'm not writing it.  I'm not good enough to put my pen to this one.


Wednesday, February 1, 2017

in his own handwriting ...

Dear ol' dad.  He's knows it was immoral.  So, what's the problem?

Oh, this would be the problem.  Not guilty.  Wait, didn't he just say...

Coerced.  Love it.  Earlier he said he was not coerced at all.  Dad, Dad, Dad ...

See, NOT coerced.  He said so, himself.

And he admits he did wrong.  He's an upstanding guy.  Yep, he is.

And then:

Can you please lower the sentence?  5 years is too severe.

Because .....

But didn't he just say....?

Nope, he didn't.  'Cuz no crime exists here.  He can prove it.   So much for being that upstanding guy.

And remember how he wasn't coerced?  Suddenly he was.

I love COP shows and criminal shows and Forensic Files and all that stuff.  I just love when the criminal says one thing ... and then says something else.  Yep, I do.  And this dude?  Classic case of saying one thing and then rethinking it and changing his story.  Dork.

Hey, I have connections!  Maybe I CAN get him a stint on COPS.  Why not?  He's already got the dialogue down pat.