Friday, April 21, 2017

sailing, sailing

See this little boat?
See this little girl?






See this stupid cat?



See this runty dog?




Look.  He's even waving goodbye ...


What's all this mean?


Liz is going places.  Well, Liz is going to A place.

Long walk, though.



She's leaving "today"  and  entering a dream world?



Nope, not Disney by any stretch of the imagination.



Not Panda Express, either.

*

She's headed here...




And here.



And here.



And here!!!


Shoot!  I want to go THERE, too!

*
She's not really going on this ...



Instead, she's going on this:








... with the most appropriate name ...



So perfect for her.  For our whole family.

The Pride of America.

Very fitting name.

Like her new home?


'taint no tiny house, that's for sure.

I like the dining room ...  Well, one of them anyway.  There's some spiffier ones, but this is my favorite.



She'll be spending a lot of time in her backyard, I'm guessing ...




Did I mention what she'll be doing?

This ...

      


and doing it here...



Not no more of this ... which makes her a tad sad.


Not really.  
Island paradise trumps Disneyland every time.  Well, I think so, anyway.



So my seafaring daughter is headed off to ...


... the land of enchantment.  the land of King Kamehameha.  the land of milk and honey.  I haven't the slightest notion what the land is called ... let's just call it paradise.



I'll be waving goodbye ...
with a tear in my eye ... and a stupid little flag, apparently.
Thank you Google.



Ahoy, Matey!



It's about to.



.


















Wednesday, April 19, 2017

a mark, a yen, a buck or a pound ...

True story.

I waited till the last possible day, last possible minute to do my taxes.  I always owe, so what the heck.  I also have a husband who SWEARS he's gonna help and then doesn't ... who promises to get everything filed and put away in the cabinet and then doesn't ... who intends to to keep your checkbook up to date ... and then doesn't.

Why, you ask?  

NCIS Miami, LA, Cleveland, Dallas, Baltimore ....
Forensic Files
Criminal Minds
Law & Order - SVU
Bones
ID TV
HGTV
ESPN ...
Thank God, Castle went off the air.

So, that said, nada got done.  I just had a four day weekend so I just spent four days (FOUR DAYS!) sitting on the floor sorting, filing, tossing, reminiscing, trying to reminisce and then hunting for a calculator to add everything up.  Our medical bills alone would kill ya.  But it got done, all while my husband watched ... and promised it would never happen again.   Yeah, yeah.

On my lunch "hour" yesterday, I set out to Jackson Hewitt to now do my taxes.  I'd done my part, now it was the professional's time to do their part.

30 minutes turned into an hour.  An hour turned into an hour and a half.  Then two hours.  Then two and a half.  TWO and a HALF HOURS to meet with ol' Jackson Hewitt.  Jack, by the way, was close to 150 years old.  True story.  And he didn't want to be there.  And he let me know that he didn't want to be there.  He also let me know that this was the hardest case he'd ever worked on.

Great.

I'll spare you the gory details, but suffice it to say that 150 year old Jack GOT US A REFUND!  The day became glorious at the 2 1/2 hour mark.

I floated back into work.

And then ... I learned this:

*** to be continued ***

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

this, this story ...

   If you get a call at 11:30 PM on a Friday night that your 
dear, darling daughter has blown out a tire ... 
what do you do first?

Drive over to her.  Open your glove compartment.
Open the instruction manual.



Then drive home and claim that it's just too late to deal with it.

You can call AAA, if you have it.  Which I don't.  Which I will get.  If you are too cheap to buy AAA services, you can always use your GEICO 'roadside service' ... but DO NOT count on them to care.

At all.
Nada.
Nope.

I wasn't the one driving, obviously, but I tried to make them think I was.  They not only saw through my little ploy but they also didn't care.  Apparently IIIIIII am not covered.  Only my car is.

??

Yep, even IF I'd been the one driving Elizabeth's car, I wasn't covered.

Goodbye GEICO, Hello AAA.

So home we went.  And up we got the next morning and back we came to Liz' car ... to ATTEMPT to change the tire ourselves.

I was determined.
And you know what?  I DID IT!


First up?  Haul the spare out of the trunk.



Nice little tire.

Nice little car.




Next ... Pull your laundry out of the trunk, too, you know ... in case you want to show off your pretty pop-up hamper to everyone.




Then ... point to the tire, point to those big lug nut thingies.



Tighten or loosen a couple of other thingies.



Get onto your knees, cuz you can see real good that way.  Lean way over but try not to fall.  That wouldn't look so good.



Twist a few more things and the stare at the ground a bit.



Back on your knees to tighten a few things ...
Again, don't fall over.



Call your wife over to admire your handiwork ...



Point at your beautiful tire again, and show it all to anyone who'll look.



Wanna see what we looked like from MY car?


I was peeking at all of the activity through my back window.  Pretty tricky how I can peek through my window and see myself on the ground changing a tire.

No really.

And, all of sudden, Liz was no longer flat-tired.  I had fixed her up real good.

*

It also helped that she had her blow out ...

RIGHT OUTSIDE OF THE BOY SCOUT'S HEADQUARTERS!!

I was able to teach them a thing or two...


.











Friday, April 7, 2017

preparing ...

... to take a vacation this summer, I've been scouring AIR BNB to get us a room.  I have a rental property in Idaho that I rent out on AIR BNB but I've never actually stayed in a vacation rental home myself.  Not sure why.  Well, not sure why UNTIL I starting looking for properties, anyway.

First of all, we are snobs.  We need a certain type of room (BIG and FANCY) with a gorgeous view and twelve different restaurants on the property for our palate's choosing.

So, AIR BNB has never even crossed my mind ... never mind that I rent out on there myself.

But, I bit the bullet and pulled up a room that seemed to fit our needs.

I put in all of my criteria ...

and

voila!

A room, that was tailor-made just for us.




Um ...

I'm hearing circus music in my head.



are you freakin' kidding me?  

*

Even the little bathroom scared me. 




Ooh, this is cool.  Just hang your laundry right up there on the ceiling.  I'm tall, so it'll be easy to jump up and down to get them off that hanger-thingy.



Okay, so I saw a bathroom inside the circus tent ... but apparently it had no toilet?

No worries, the toilet was just a short jaunt outside, through a forest, past a house and into another building with shoppers?  Seriously?  Don't forget to lock the shop door when you're through ... 'cuz, you know, bears might get in.


This can all be yours for the very low price of $400/night.

No toilet, do your own laundry and hang it on the ceiling ... and watch circus animals all night long ... for $400/night.

Sounds good.  Book it!