Okay... I'm about ready to head back to California now.

SOUTHERN WOMEN

Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
Clean skin.
A winning smile..
That unforgettable Southern drawl...

Southern women know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."
"Why, no, Billy Bob!"

Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions:
"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your Momma?"
"I'm going to kick your butt all the way to the curb."


Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity.
Humidity..
Humidity...

Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach.
The rivuh..
The crick...

Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals.
Strapless sun dresses..
Iced sweet tea with mint...

Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey.
Darlin'..
Shugah...

Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes.
Driving Miss Daisy..
Steel Magnolias...
Gone With The Wind....

Southern women know their religions:
Baptist.
Methodist..
Football...

Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy.
Grits..
Eggs....
Country ham....
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly.....

Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn.
S'vanah..
Foat Wuth...
N'awlins....
Addlanna.....

Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos..
Rhett Butler...

Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall.
The Country Club..
The Beauty Salon...

Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails.
Having bad manners..
Cooking bad food...

Okay, so I'm not quite as southern as I thought. Well, I am southern. Southern Californian. Does that count?

I mean, I can say, "for real" and fer sure" as good as the next guy. Heck, I can even say, "like"... 'cept it went out of style a few years ago. Sigh. Maybe I'll just stick to speaking perfect English. I've always been so good at that.
:)