Because we had to run out and because it would cause me to miss the greatest show ever on television tonight, Rick taped "Dancing With The Stars" for me. And knowing that it was being taped, I didn't have to run every red light to get home from Walgreens and Sonic and the ATM. See, those are very important errands and I had to run them. Tonight. What's a night without a Sonic drink? I mean, really.
So ... comfortable that I would have time to run the above errands before the semi-finalists were announced, Rick and I set out for a prescription, a diet cherry limeade and some cash. Gotta have my diet cherry limeade every night. Just gotta. Gotta have cash, too.
I knew we wouldn't make it back by 7:00 but I was surprised when it was 7:45 when we hit the driveway. And yes, I quickly came inside and turned on the show that graces my Tuesday nights. Before the picture actually appeared, I heard the announcer say, "We will be sorry to see you go, it's been a wonderful run with you. What are your future plans?" And I immediately began shouting to Rick to turn it off! Turn it off! I did not want to know who was going home before I'd seen the rest of the show. And Rick just laughed at me.
"Quick! Turn it off!" And I fumbled to turn the TV back off or at least mute the sound. I diverted my eyes. You'd think that I was avoiding the end of an Olympic competition or the conclusion of the "Who Shot J.R." episode of Dallas years ago before having seen all the hoopla leading up to it. You'd have thought it was very important. Sadly it was just "Dancing With The Stars." But I still didn't want to know who was being booted without seeing why.
I couldn't seem to get the TV sound off so the announcer just continued wishing the loser well.
"La la la la la la la la la!" My fingers were in my ears. I shouted at Rick to keep trying to turn it off.
But he just stood there laughing at me. I glanced up and saw the reason for the laughter.
It wasn't "Dancing With The Stars" after all. It was "Splash," my least favorite television show EVER. And the announcer was sending one of the belly floppers away without that stupid crown trophy.
Once he stopped laughing, all Rick could say was, "Good thing you didn't see the winner of Splash. That would've been tragic."
Maybe so, maybe so. But, uh, I'm still trying to figure out why, exactly, was Rick taping Splash. He must have a crush on Louis Anderson. So many people do.
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