I apologize if you all have seen (or heard) these before but they still amuse me. I hope you are left pondering these questions as well.
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
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Why do you have to "put your two cents in" when it's only "a penny for your thoughts?" What's the extra penny going to?
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Once you are in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
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Can you cry under water?
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What disease did cured ham actually have?
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How is it that we put men on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
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Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
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Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?
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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
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Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway...
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Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
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If the Professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in the boat?
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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? Aren't they both dogs?
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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME junk, why didn't he just buy dinner?
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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality comes from morons?
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Do the Alphabet Song and 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' have the same tune?
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Why did you just try singing the above songs?
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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside of the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's inside your a**?
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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you... but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
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Are you suddenly wondering how I ever get anything done around my house?
1 comment:
Catching up on your blog and this made me LOL, especially the part about walking to school uphill in the snow both ways. Kenny always used to tell the kids that when they would whine.
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