I found this piece last week, and while it may not sum it all up, you'll have to admit it is entertaining...
Reasons why my Siamese cat is qualified to be VP:
He is Siamese-American, which would set the stage for better relations with Southeast Asia.
He has spent weeks in Canada; once in Toronto, and once in Vancouver, where the room service staff took a particular liking to him.
He has lived in New York, one of the most important states in the electoral college. He now lives in Virginia, a state he hopes to turn blue because it will match his eyes.
While he has not been an actual member of the Cabinet, he does have intimate knowledge of our kitchen cabinets, where his food is stored.
He believes in energy conservation, and sleeps up to 20 hours a day to do his part.
He is a token black. Or at least his face, paws, and tails are black. And having been neutered, he is no threat to the views of either side.
Thank goodness I've already voted. Now there's no chance of me changing my mind...