Thursday, December 18, 2008

Lunchtime follies

Out and about running errands for my boss today, I decided I would bring back lunch and save her from having to go out on this very dreary, wet, foggy day.

After passing the gamut of fast food restaurants, I decided on Subway, since Amy's favorite sandwich is their meatball sandwich. Grilled.

So, I entered the restaurant and ordered. The gal made Amy's sandwich and handed it to me.

"Can you toast it, please?"
"No. My oven doesn't work."
"COLD MEATBALLS? My boss isn't going to like that."
"Well, I could microwave it."
"No, that makes the bread rubbery."
"Okay, I'll just microwave the meatballs."


Then the sandwich preparer began to make my roast beef sandwich. Except she made it with ham.

"Uh, I said 'roast beef'."
"We don't have roast beef today. You want chicken instead?"

I took cold cuts.
She then loaded my sandwich up with lettuce and tomato like mad.

"Excuse me? I don't want any lettuce."

She pulled it off. She then asked me what I did want on my sandwich.

"A little bit of onions, green peppers and the sweet peppers, too. But only a little of each."

Did she listen? Nope. I then had to have her pull off the pound of onions, pound of green peppers and the bottle of sweet peppers.

"What else?" she asked.

"A little bit of mustard, a little bit of mayonnaise." And she poured the entire bottle all over my sandwich. "You sure have an odd sense of 'a little'," I said.

"Too much?"
"Uh, yeah."
And she pretended to remove some of the condiments.

"Can you get that big glob there?" I pointed at. And she did. With her little gloved finger. (Memories of the Blimpie's girl at WalMart...)

I moved on to the cash register and presented the girl with my Subway gift card.

"I'm sorry. My internet is down. I can't take your card."
"Yeah, you'll have to pay with cash."
"How about a credit card?"
"No, my internet is down. I can take your credit card number, though."

Like I'd give it to her.

"You know, you should have told me all these things when I first walked in."

"Well, when you come back, everything will be working."

"You think I'm coming back?"

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