How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my life savings that everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
And finally, a shopping tip...
You can get shoes for a buck at a bowling alley.