* * splat * *

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Unfortunately, this photo doesn’t show:


1. How cold it was outside

2. How cold my index fingers and thumbs were since I was wearing those funky iPhone/camera-friendly gloves that are missing index fingers and thumbs

3. How hard this snowball was

4. How much this snowball hurt my face when my daughter threw it at me at point blank range


5. How much snow wound up in my right ear when I instinctively turned my head to avoid getting hit in the face

6. How badly an ear packed with snow hurts

7. How quickly I tackled my daughter in a pile of snow and smashed her face into the drift, rubbing it back and forth and yelling “Who’s got an earful of snow NOW?”


8. How hard her friend was laughing while I was doing this


9. How hard my daughter was laughing while I was doing this

10. How little my violent outburst fazed her

11. How sore my groin was the next day

Moral of the story:

Vengeance is never a good idea.
Especially when you’re a fifty-two year-old former ballerina who hasn’t stretched in awhile.
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