Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Strategic Planning

As I've mentioned before, my husband LIVES for Monday nights. Trash night.

And he annoys everyone in the house with his constant nagging to bring him their trash cans so that he can deliver them to the big barrels in the garage. I don't know if this gives him his purpose in life or not... but it sure gives him something to do on Monday nights... you know, while we're watching "The Bachelor", "Dancing With The Stars" and other such sophisticated stuff that he can't seem to get into.

By the way, the new 'Dancing' cast was just announced. I have a reason to live now.

Anyway, this past Monday night didn't go so well. Apparently Elizabeth parked her car a wee bit crooked or a wee bit to the left... or a wee bit red. I dunno. I do know that Rick was ticked.

Ticked Rick.

Rick came barreling back into the house yelling that Liz has messed up his whole plan of action in getting the trash cans out... and now the trucks weren't even going to stop at our house the next morning. Or something to that affect.

I calmed Rick down and got him to tell me exactly what the problem was... and it was simple. He explained that it's all "strategic planning" and the trucks that pick up the trash RELY on us to have our barrels in JUST the right spot. And when Liz parks too close to the driveway... on a Monday night... well, it's all just shot to you know where.

"It's strategic!" Rick insisted. "The cans have to be just so many inches apart and now Liz' car is right in the middle of them."

About that time... a neighbor began to bring his barrels out (has anyone noticed that I can't decide if they're cans or barrels?) and placed them on the street. Close together. Near his own car.

It was all I could do not to yell out "HEY, PAL... IT'S STRATEGIC! YOU'RE MESSING UP THE WHOLE WORLD!"

I didn't yell that though. I want my new neighbors to like me. And one already doesn't. More on that later. Something about a red car.

No, I didn't yell that to him... but I did remind Rick ALL NIGHT LONG that everything he did wrong was now messing with the strategic planning of the entire earth. And that we might not spin correctly all because the trash cans were not lined up right.

And when I decided not to cook him dinner that night? It was strategic planning as well. I strategically planned that pizza delivery. Just to give my little hands the night off... and to give Rick more to deliver to those ill-placed trash cans. While I got absorbed in "Bachelor Pad."

Yeah, I'm no dummy.

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