Sorry for the little delay. Somebody threw her back out. Way out. Outside, even.
It happened last week... the first time. It happened again on Sunday. I recovered from the earlier outtage just enough to where I thought I was invincible and indestructable and nothing could stop me. So it made sense that someone as indestructable as me would sit in a pew at church and reach for her bible, which was on the floor in front of her... and figuring that while she was down there she would also check to make sure her cell phone was turned off (never mind that it wasn't even there... it had been left at home... and certainly wouldn't be heard during the service if it went off.) And while rummaging through my purse, I decided that I would also grab a peppermint that I found on the bottom of my purse (don't say 'ew' 'cuz I change purses nearly every other day so this was not an old peppermint) and thus discovered that my index fingernail on my right hand was a little bit rough and since I was in my purse anyway, I might as well grab the emery board, too, and file my nail.
Having spent the better part of five minutes bent over from the waist, with my head between my knees while I rummaged and rummaged (and probably irritated everyone around me) it was then that I discovered that I am not as indestructable as I thought I was. Not quite.
Yes, I then got to spent another five or ten minutes bent over with my head down near my purse on the floor ... because ... I couldn't even straighten back up. And I couldn't even imagine how this could happen ... because, you know, I'm indestructable.
But my back isn't.
I'm a dope.
So once upright, a deacon helped me up and out of the Sanctuary. He got my keys out of my purse and helped me to my car. Rick was right behind me until I noticed he wasn't anymore. I yelled to him, "Where are you going???" Rick's response? "To our Sunday School class. You'll be fine in the car."
The deacon and I both shot Rick a look that told him in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that he'd better change his plans NOW and drive his little wifey home. Which he did.
Know what happened next?
I got to make Rick lunch.
Yes, that really happened. I also got to make him dinner later on in the day, too... because I've spent so much time insisting I'm indestructable and what do you know... he listened.