Thursday, May 2, 2013

a mother's nightmare

an excerpt from my daughter's blog ... not exactly what a mom wants to hear.

"Here at The Walt Disney Company, it’s all about paying your dues and moving up in the company step by step.  I’m just like everyone else one, every other college program cast member.  Which is fine, I am more than happy to accept that.  What I’m having a hard time coping with is that my bright, shining, upbeat personality gets lost and means next to nothing.  My personality is my work of art, I’ve always been so proud of it and it gets me so far ahead in life.  It’s my most favorite gift from God.

"What I’m finding out here though is that it’s not welcome amongst my peers, who don’t appreciate having someone smiling and joyful backstage when they’re trying to relax, and it’s not a tool that gets me ahead of the game promotion wise.  It did get me the gig as Tour Guide Barbie at Toy Story Midway Mania!, and that’s nothing to scoff at.  Nonetheless though, I’m feeling very fenced in, where I used to feel as though my possibilities were endless.

"I’m also struggling with one other thing: all the decisions.  Do I stay when my program has ended?  Do I go home?  Do I head for California?  What will I do for work?  Where will I finish school?  Do I want to continue working for Disney?  Do I want to stop for now and begin again later?  Where will I come up with rent money?  Can I find a second job on the side?  The questions are endless so the indecision is endless.  I’m just feeling a bit lost and directionless is all.  This too shall pass, I know.  It just all seems so scary, being an adult and all."

Elizabeth goes on to say ...

"All of this just all boils down to the issue of love.  Feeling it or not feeling it.  Distance is everything.  I have love in Texas, from family and friends and my parents most importantly.  I have it most definitely in Arizona.  I’m just not seeming to have it much in Florida.  I don’t really have it for the land or the weather, and the people I’ve met so far really don’t have it much for me.  But just how important is that?  How far can I get on drive and ambition alone?  Or how fast will I fall when I realize I’ve made a terrible mistake building a life on black and white goal setting without that ever grey area of love and friendship…"

Elizabeth's mom (me) doesn't necessarily like hearing these things.  However, Rick and I both realize that we are facing some new twists and curves in our upcoming lives.  If Elizabeth returns home, it will be around June 1st and we'll all be on the search for a job for her. 

If she stays in Florida ... our vacation is on!!  Whoo hoo!

And if she comes home, the vacation is still on.  It just won't be to Florida.  Rick opted for Branson, Mo.  I opted for Paris.  He seems to not be listening to me.

And if she does come home ... the cat will go to Florida instead.  I've about had it with a pining cat.  A pining and smelly cat, might I add.  Phoebe even wrote a song about it.

So.  So what am I saying here?  That the Kahle family is undergoing some change and some challenges.  Most importantly, some instability.   Prayer for my daughter is welcome.  Most welcome.


No comments: