Wednesday, June 4, 2014

post hypnotic suggestions

I have just learned that I have a disease.  A very serious disease.  No, you don't have to send me flowers ... but cash will help.

What I've learned is that I am suffering from the dreaded "brain fog."  It's caused by Mother Nature and takes up residence in your brain around the years of menopause.  I'm still a child, of course, but perhaps Mother Nature launched at me early.  Yeah, that's it.

Anyhoo ... my brain is definitely foggy.  Tonight I began to cook spaghetti but I never put the noodles in the boiling water.  Very soon we had 'boiled pot' but raw noodles, which were still sitting on the counter.  Oh well, they will go very well with the beer bread I baked ... where I left out two cups of flour.

Today I drove all the way to Walgreens for ... for ... for something.  All was not lost because I came back with chocolate.

Yesterday I put clothes into the washing machine and never even bothered to turn it on.  Well ... at least they didn't mildew when I forgot to put them in the dryer, too.

A few days ago, I deposited a check into my bank at an ATM and when I returned home I found the check sitting on the seat of my car.  No telling what I deposited into that ATM.  It certainly didn't add to my balance, though.

Last week I backed into my daughter's car, fully aware that it was parked behind my car, but that knowledge left my brain the moment I closed my door and started the engine.

The list goes on and on and on and on ... laundry is half done at my house, food is rarely prepared anymore, the dog is starving and the cat hasn't been seen in weeks.  Mail is piled high and the bill collectors are calling.  Toilet paper is never on the roll and never in the cabinet when you want to replace it, even though I know I bought it and put it there.  Today I was mad because my mascara didn't get transferred to my current purse from the purse I carried yesterday.  And then magically, when I got to work, it was suddenly in my purse again.

And speaking of work ... my coworkers have about had it with me, I'm sure.  I'm forgetting things there left and right.  I discovered one of them plotting where to bury my body.  And I can't blame them.  Forgetting their names is one thing, forgetting my work duties is another.  Wish I could remember their names, though.

And the piece de resistance?  I forgot to go to a meeting I WAS LEADING tonight.  Must've been that raw spaghetti thing that threw me.  That'll do it to you every time.

So ... what's on the horizon for all of us folks that suffer from "brain fog?"  Um ... well ... I can't remember.  But as soon as I'm old enough to go through menopause, I'm sure it'll come back to me.  I hope.

In the meantime, I've got some spaghetti to boil.  And some beer bread that I'm determined to eat, just 'cause.  I made it and I'll darn well eat it ... if I can remember where I left it.


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