Friday, December 8, 2017

my greatest acting assignment EVER!

Sssshhhh, don't tell anyone, but I didn't do my job last night.

Well I did, but I didn't.

My second job, three nights a week, is that of a security guard.  At various Frisco venues.  Do I like it?  Yes and no.  I like being a security guard and bossing people around ... and I like my coworkers.  And I like bossing my coworkers around. 

And I like all of the shows that I work up in Oklahoma, too.  I like the dinner they feed me up there, 'cuz I love pizza.

But what I don't particularly love ... is when my equipment fails.  Malfunctions.  Dies.  Kaput.  And last night it did.   The wand that I use to scrutinize  embarrass  torture scan folks before they step foot into the arena died.  It UP AND DIED. 

And you know what my supervisor said?


And so I had to.  And so I did.

I spent two hours "wanding" basketball patrons before they could enter the stadium and I had to look like it mattered.  I had to pretend like it was beeping if something suspicious "alerted."  A coworker (remember, I like my coworkers) kept trying to make me laugh by making beeping noises behind me.  I no longer like my coworker.  I no longer like my job.  I'm going to Hollywood instead.  Because if I can pull that off ... AND I DID ... I am the greatest actress that ever lived.

I even caught a knife in someone's pocket.

Now THAT'S really good acting!


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