On Sunday, Rick sent me to the store. For eggs. Just eggs.
I went, but true to form, I found a few other things to buy as well. I found toilet paper on sale. And since "sale" is my most favorite word in the entire English language... well, I couldn't resist. I bought two packages.
So I came home with my treasures and Rick helped me unload the car. And the first thing he saw was a bag full of toilet paper. I made my way into the kitchen to put away the milk, the orange juice, the chocolate chips, the Cheerios and the diet coke. Rick made his way to the laundry room to put away the toilet paper. Cuz that's where we store it. Above the washer and dryer. You need to know that.
As I passed back through the laundry room to get more groceries out of the car, I saw Rick struggling to put the toilet paper up on the shelf above the washer. You see, neither of us are very tall. Or tall at all.
I saw Rick with one package of TP in his hands and the other sitting proudly up on the shelf. Yes, he had managed to toss one up there and have it land in the right spot the very first time.
But it looked strange. It was still in the bag. In the little plastic sack that it came home from the grocery store in.
"Rick, why did you toss the whole bag up there?"
"I don't know. I just thought that it would go up easier and not fall back down."
"Did it work?"
So, Rick tossed the 2nd package back up and it came flying back down. There didn't seem to be room up there.
"Rick? It looks weird up there. What else is up there?"
"Nothing. Just toilet paper."
And then I spied it. And I knew. And I was scared. Very scared.
"RICK!!! WHY DID YOU THROW THE EGGS UP THERE, TOO?????"
"I didn't throw eggs up there!"
And I pulled the whole bag down and down fell the one errant package of toilet paper and an entire carton of 18 eggs. The eggs Rick had sent me to the store for. The eggs that belonged in a fridge, not up over a washing machine.
And were they broken? Well, you figure it out. 18 eggs just took a flying leap from Rick's hands to a shelf above a washing machine... and took a very hard landing. And then came down and took another very hard landing.
Needless to say, it's good that it's not Easter anymore. There would only be three eggs to color. And I'm not sure they could stand the pressure of boiling water. They'd already been through the battle of Jericho. By Rick. Who didn't even notice that the toilet paper had gained a little weight.