... the dog is sad that his daddy is out of town or sad that his sissy is out of town, or just sick to his stomach from the pork tamale I fed him ... but I've about had it with doggy diarrhea.
The dog is leaving me lovely presents all over the house.
AND ALL OVER PETSMART, too.
I got the bright idea to take my doggy to PetSmart with me to buy some carpet cleaner ... and he christened their store, too. Right there by the cash registers, right where the manager and everyone could see. No hiding that.
I spent twenty minutes ON MY KNEES in PetSmart, cleaning up dog poop. They're brutal, those folks at PetSmart.
Jokes on them, though. My dog christened a few of their other displays, too. Nobody noticed but me ... and all of the security cameras.
I'm done being single, thank you very much.